In honor of college football bowl season, I’ve decided to frame my feelings on the two new, limited-time only flavors of Doritos along the lines of college football teams. For a moment I nearly decided to attempt a comparison with cartoon characters or Star Wars personalities, but I’m sure those will be more apt for other, less manly snacks.
In any case, I should preface this by saying I’m not a regular Doritos eater. I prefer potato chips to corn chips, although I have a soft spot in my heart for the memories evoked by those single-serving bags of Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheese you’d inevitably be given for a four-strike out performance after a game of rec league T-ball in the second grade. In any case, I couldn’t help be attracted to the retro-chic packaging of Sour Cream and Onion and Salsa Rio chips, which, to my knowledge, have not been announced publicly by Frito-Lay.
Perhaps it’s because they know the Salsa Rio chips are like the 2011 Brigham Young Cougars, or that the Sour Cream and Onion Chips are akin to the Texas A&M Aggies. Both chips contain a refreshingly old-fashioned (read, 1990s) number of ingredients, but seriously, even the big ass bag still puts you under 2000 calories for the day, so don’t have a hissy fit. But back to football, and chips.
Salsa Rio had a lot of expectations going in. Doritos, after all, finished off 201o strong. There were some new, young, and dynamic flavors brought into the fold. Jake Heaps and Cody Hoffman — er, Pizza Supreme and Taco — arrived on the scene to make everyone predict even greater things in 2011. It was a little shaky at first. Tapatio was a lot like the opening win against Ole Miss. It seemed o.k. at the time, but looking back now, who actually remembers the hype? That’s when the bottom falls out, and the initial tomato taste seems mellow and mild, and eek gaak, there’s not even a ton of cheese flavor for crying out loud. After licking a chip or two clean you’re not impressed with the crunch nor the flavor, and start to wonder if these chips wouldn’t be better donated to the Deseret Industries (eh, maybe Todd Jones would like them). But wait, a spark of life. Giving up on the licking method, you just go ahead and start eating them in serious snackage mode. Now you’re getting the backend taste of some kind of spice you can’t exactly put your finger on. There’s a sweetness to it as well, and a tingling in the back of your throat. Holy crap, it’s like Riley Nelson come off the bench. Suddenly you’re altogether o.k. with your season purchase. No, it wasn’t freaking amazing, but it was redeemed. The chili powder and tomato sweetness has been redeemed on the goal-line of the Armed Forces Bowl!
Now, Sour Cream and Onion. What can I say? A tried and true flavor, it’s been in different conferences forms of fried goodness many times before, and with the Dortios label, shouldn’t it be expected to compete for an immediate place in the snack food national title? You’d think, but it just never comes together. It’s not that there’s not talent at the table — I mean, it is a Doritos chip after all, and there is a nice taste of corn and spices — but it just can finish. It collapses in the third quarter as a flavored chip, with no puckering effect from the sour cream, and no tartness and little sweetness provided by the onion flavor. Sure, I guess it has a rally at the end of the year, but it needs a coaching spice coating makeover. A weak and disappointing product, if you’re asking any objective individual.
Final Thoughts:
If you’re going to spring for either of these, go for the Salsa Rio flavor. It has a mild tomato sweetness and restrained enough garlic flavor to make it a tasty chip, and the backend notes of chili powder do linger enough for you to want to reach for a cold beverage. As for Sour Cream and Onion? The seasoning blend just doesn’t give off much of anything. I thought they’d taste a lot like Cool Ranch, but mostly, they just looked like a regular corn chip and tasted almost the same.
Doritos Salsa Rio
- Price: $2.50 (on sale at Weis)
- Ranking:6/10
- Chances I’d Buy Again: 30%
Doritos Sour Cream and Onion
- Price: $2.50 (on sale at Weis)
- Ranking:3/10
- Chances I’d Buy Again: 2%
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Where are these being sold? I have not seen them as yet. I have waited about 30 YEARS for the return of the “Sour Cream & Onion” flavor, and completely disagree with the review of the chips. These were MY FAVORITE DORITOS FLAVOR, HANDS DOWN!!! There have been many websites and Facebook pages devoted to it’s memory, patiently awaiting their return. Hopefully, Frito Lay did not alter the original recipe.
I just bought them at Big Lots
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