Rays in the Storms

I wish I could say affirmations of faith and hope are always met with a reversal of fortune. They’re not. In fact, since my last reflections on the uncertainty I and my family are going through right now, things have only gotten more hectic and stress-filled. Death isn’t something I’ve had to deal with much in my life, and I thank God for that. But last week I received the news that my grandfather is in the late stages of terminal cancer, and is in the period in which the only treatment is, in the word’s of the doctor, “to make him as comfortable as possible.”

Death of a grandparent is something I’ve always known would happen, but the timing couldn’t be worse. My mom — God bless her — has started to go back to work at the medical center where she practices, and coupled with her job editing nursing textbooks and caring for my father on an almost 24/7 basis, she’s got more on her plate than a sumo wrestler at a rice buffet.

I’ve taken the recent events like a little kids who drops his ice cream cone. Between the family challenges and the weekly reminders of the poor job market (still no bites in the applications) I’ve lost my temper and my cool more than a few times, and have been finding my outlook on the world becoming more pessimistic by the hour. It doesn’t help that we as a country are in an election year, with the mud-slinging and doom-and-gloom of current events reaching epic proportions. Caught in this tempest of “woe-is-me, woe-is-the-world,” all I want to do is retreat. I want to hide inside my little world of food blogging or ice cream man work, pretending the problems at home don’t exist, or don’t really have an impact on how I choose to gace each day.

It’s hard to see rays of light in the storm right now, but every once in a while I catch sight of them. Just when I feel like I’m being rocked to a new and faith-deprived low, a sudden break in the rain allows a flicker of blinding sunshine to burst through. The rays are short-lived but intense, and the key, I’ve found, is to keep your head upand your eyes open. Because with your eyes closed and your head down, you’ll never even realize that they do come.

I catch sight of them throughout the week. In sitting down to write a letter to my grandfather, reflecting on a gift of a prayer book he once gave me. A laugh from my dad watching an Orioles game, the first in years in which he hasn’t come home distracted by work or life. A heart-to-heart conversation with mu uncle on the phone, in which I find out I’m not as alone as I think I am, and that he has been in my position too. A glance over at my mother sleeping in, knowing the work I’ve put in preparing us for the day is also allowing for her to recharge her body.

These are the rays in the storm, the charging battalions of hope sent against Divisions and Corps’ of despair. I can’t help but think it’s times like these where many fall away from themselves and all they believe. Maybe you are one of those people, or maybe you’re not. Yet as I got through these times I can’t help but falter again and again, only to be lifted up again and again. Why is this? I keep asking myself. Is it me? Is it my surroundings? Is it the people in my life?

Maybe it’s a combination of some of these things, but the more and more I examine them, the more and more they seem to point at just the opposite. If you know, and if you know where I am in my life, then you surely know that ‘resolute’ is not a word I’d identify with, and that optimism, hope, and yes, even trust and faith, are not virtues I exude or even easily embrace.

And yet, I’m so moved by those virtues that I can’t help but extol this Ray of Light in the storm, and I can’t help but feel, by some first-met, long-forgotten, often-heard-whispering promise, that God’s hardest tests are the ones we press on through when we feel like giving up. So I keep my head held to the sky. Letting bullets of rain hit me, all so I won’t miss the ethereal beauty of rays in the storm.

Maple Bacon Ice Cream from Scoop Ahh Dee Doo

Friday was a momentous day for me. Taking a break from work, I instead went back to my high school.

As a substitute teacher.

Weird. With swirling thoughts and a dry sense of humor I got through my day at Mount Saint Joseph alive, but following the six and a half hour stint (was it really that long?) I knew I needed to decompress with a treat. Hello, Scoop Ahh Dee Doo.

This place apparently opened in down town Ellicott City a few weekends ago. Located next to a tiny artisan French bakery serving croissants as big as my head, it has all the makings of your standard artsy Ellicott City destination. Translation? A place tourists will love, and hippies and yuppies will flock too. Not being any of these, I came for the ice cream and the outdoor patio. And the Maple Bacon Ice Cream.

We’ll get to that in a sec.

Offering hard ice cream from Taharka Brothers (apparently a big deal) had some 17 flavors on the board when I showed up. standard offerings obviously were featured, but a few more exotic options (including Berger Cookie and the aforementioned Maple and Bacon) immediately caught my eye. Prices seemed reasonable for something so intensely “artisan,” and samples are offered.

Initial thoughts on my sample of the Berger Cookie are nothing but positive from the tasting end. The service? Not so much. The young lad at the window clearly lacks the same charisma I do as an ice cream attendant, and unfortunately couldn’t detail what a Berger Cookie exactly is. No matter, I later looked it up, and expected the description to match the delicious fudgey shortbread that was generously swirled in a rich, creamy, and intensely smooth vanilla base. Damn you, trans fats.

The Maple and Bacon didn’t sit too well though. I very rarely will throw something away that I pay for, but after a few licks I just couldn’t take it. The ice cream itself was solid. The maple flavor was mellow and none-too-sweet, although the texture seemed a bit grainier than ideal.

The problem was the bacon, which was just way too prominent Still a bit chewy and certainly smokey, it nevertheless overpowered the delicate creamy taste. I love salty and sweat as much as the next guy, but the interplay didn’t work here.

My first visit to Scoop Ahh Dee Doo left me a little disappointed, mostly because the service seemed a bit spotty, and the information about the product sparse. Still, the few clean licks I was able to get of actual ice cream showed promise, especially if more warm days are in order. Just do yourself a favor and sample the Maple Bacon before you blow your tips on it.

Cereal Review: Kashi GoLean

There are some times in even a serious cereal eater’s life when necessity supersedes novelty, and where the virtues of proper nutrition trump the temporary euphoria of a sugar rush or nostalgic cartoon kick of back-of-the-box fun. In these moments we’re reminded that we eat to live and not live to eat, and that the right nutrition can make all the difference between getting the job done and snoozing on the job.

The first morning of St. Paul’s Catholic Church’s hurricane relief mission trip to Biloxi, Mississippi was one of those times. Tasked with rebuilding an entire home destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, I knew I was going to need more than just sugar and high fructose corn syrup to power me through the day. Clearly, Kashi’s 7 whole grains and their protein-filled soy grits were going be needed for this morning. The question is would they be yummy enough to keep me content?

Kashi’s GoLean Original is the kind of cereal I imagine dieter’s stock-up on with religieuse-like zeal. With 140 calories, 10 grams fiber, and 13 grams of protein per serving a small bowl can hit all the nutritional must have’s, and truth be told, I’ve bought it plenty of times in the past. But contemplating on my bowl while in Biloxi, I realized I never ate the cereal plain. And, true enough to form, I found myself staring at a bowl while also staring at a yogurt and a banana.

Before diving into the complete-breakfast mix, I decided to focus on the flavor of the cereal itself. Textually you’re dealing with something that keeps you interested in every bite. The interplay between three distinctive crunch levels of fiber twigs, soy grits, and 7 grain mix keep mouthfuls from becoming monotonous, at the same time providing enough contrasting flavors to endear your spoon to one element over another. That being said, differentiating between those 7-grains seems beyond impossible, with hard-winter wheat , sesame puffs, and brown rice all coming together in what comes off as three or four slightly different versions of puffed wheat.

Six grams of sugar is hardly anything for a cereal with a serving size of 52 grams (most kids cereal serving sizes run at 28-23 grams) but somehow, Kashi GoLean gets the most of its sweetness. Perhaps it’s because the sweetness is coming from evaporated cane juice syrup, but whatever it is, the lightly sweetened pieces really augment the natural flavors of the various pieces that make up the mix. Believe it or not, not since the artificially sweetened Fiber One cereals have I enjoyed a cereal with such a low sugar content.

I read a comment on the Kashi website which said GoLean lacked a “joyful” flavor. On its own I’d say that might be true, but if you’re looking for a natural cereal as a base for a ‘proper’ breakfast, than this is your choice. Likewise, it makes a great base for customizable snack bags. Protein rich and dense, GoLean often finds itself combined with peanuts, dried fruit (I like figs), or some other sugar-laden kids cereal when I’m looking to munch on a mini-meal at work. Factoring in this superior nutrition, as well as its fair price (I often find it for $3 a box) and better-than-average taste and texture, it’s become a staple for me, and makes a strong case for the next edition of the Top 10 rankings. Not bad for something without a cartoon character or a maze on the back of the box.

Your turn. Got a “go-to” meal or healthy cereal? As yes, Lucky Charms counts!

Kashi GoLean Orgininal

• Price: 3.00 (Target)
• Ranking: 7/10
• Chances I’d Buy Again: 100%

My First Taste of Talenti

My apologies if I don’t get around to responding to all your comments. It’s been a busy and stress-filled week here in the house, but know that I appreciate all the feedback!

There are many a consumer food trends that perplex me. The obsequious following Ben and Jerry’s has developed among the internet’s ice cream eaters among them, I typically look with intrigue on Super Premium ice cream with both a  hearty dose of skepticism and self-righteous sense of ice cream egalitarianism. It’s as if I turn my head to anything in the $3.50+ range for a pint, instead choosing the virtues of good old fashioned American industry. You know, like the kind they show on Modern Movels Food Tech. What can I say, I’m not like most food bloggers.

But I’m far from close minded in my exploration of the freezer aisle. Case in point, my first taste of Talenti Gelato.

Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to win a contest through Talenti in which I received several coupons for their products. At first I didn’t know where to use them, but when my local Giant started carrying pints of Talenti, I knew a tasting was in order. My first purchase? Black Cherry Amarena.

The first thing I notice in the sweet taste of milk and the incredibly smooth texture. The sweetness is clean and bright, and despite a cherry “swirl” the flavor of fresh, juicy black cherries comes through in full force throughout the entire container. The cherries themselves are plentiful and slightly chewy, intensifying in flavor as the smooth and sweet gelato slowly melts around them. There’s no grit to speak of in the gelato, with each lick providing an incredibly rich mouthfeel that makes a few spoonfuls the perfect after dinner treat.

My only complaint is that the flavor is a little too sweet, but otherwise Talenti manages to provide a super premium frozen treat without the fat (only nine grams per 100 gram serving). It’s fresh, indulgent, and unbelievably smooth and creamy, and even without the coupon, probably worth a splurge purchase. Just so long as I keep it away from my ice cream devouring dad.

• Price: $4.99 (Giant)
• Ranking: 9/10
• Chances I’d Buy Again: 100%

What Star Wars Can Teach us About Uncertain Times

Have you ever read a book that you were really looking forward to reading, only to find that the ending — and with it, months of anticipation — fell completely and dramatically short of your expectations? Were you presented with just another question after attempting to wrap your head around an entire series worth of questions, to the point where you were literally willing, after more than a decade of reading Star Wars Expanded Universe whatever-strikes-your-fancy novels, to pack up all your books for a yard sale?

You might say that’s how I felt when I finished Troy Denning’s Apocalypse last week. The conclusion to the Fate of the Jedi series didn’t give the hardcore Star Wars fan any silver lining in the uncertainty of the Galaxy Far, Far Away, but rather provided yet another starting point for what’s sure to be the next extended series of conflict, war, and crisis of faith for the citizens of planets like Coruscant and the weakening band of Jedi Knights under Luke Sykwalker. Instead of a happy ending or a silver lining, we’re instead left with more uncertainty and greater instability. How utterly depressing.

Depressing or not, it does hold true to the maxim that art imitates life. Apocalypse especially recalled the times we’re living in now, and the seemingly opposed and polarized worlds that many people (including me) vacillate between in our everyday lives. Caught up in challenging times for ourselves and our country, we often fall victim to demonizing those who don’t think like we do, and all to easily paint ourselves as victims — sometimes hopeless victims — against a society we fear will not have us because of our beliefs and principles. It’s easy to give up during these times, and after another week in which my family has faced health challenges and I personally have continued to feel the strain of this politically charged society, I yearn for a respite. None has come, however. Not in hope for a new career. Not in a friend who can share my nostalgic and guilty pleasure of late-night McDonald’s runs. And certainly not in my Star Wars reading, which once again has left me with a lackluster series making me question why I ever picked up a book following the conclusion of the New Jedi Order series. Deprived of this respite, I feel hopeless at times, and feel like, “what’s the use?” when trying to make my way through the world as both a happy and productive member of society, and a loving, charitable, and still faithful Christian. Especially when it comes to that whole “love your enemies” stuff…

I don’t have the easy answer or the roadmap for how I will get to where I am going, just like I don’t have the easy answer for this country. And that’s o.k., because a lot of very wise people don’t have that answer either, including the Pope. Proving he’s a very real person with the same fears and doubts many of us have, he recently spoke to the uncertainty in both his own life and in the world. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share part of what he said.

“I find myself facing the final phase of my life, and I don’t know what awaits me. I do know, though, that the light of God is real, that He is risen, that his light is stronger than any darkness, that the goodness of God is stronger than any evil in this world.

This helps me continue on with confidence. This help carries us all forward, and in this moment I thank from my heart everyone who constantly lets me see the “yes” of God through their faith.”

What the Pope said reminded me to what Jaina Solo was getting at during the final pages of Apocalypse. In a nutshell, she affirms that the Jedi will be faced with an even greater war with the Sith in the years to come, and that while society may be pushing the Jedi off Coruscant, the Force continues to call the guardians of peace and justice to serve those even those who place the blame for the ills of the world squarely on the Jedi’s shoulders. It reminds me of how Jesus calls all Christians to live — even when we don’t want to – and how he calls us to show that unceasing love and charity. It’s a message that the best — and only — way to counter the tide of negativity or perceived attitudes is to do only what we can in our small capacity. To live simply, treat all with love and dignity, and offer that hope, those smiles, to the faces we encounter each day. It doesn’t mean not standing up for things, but it doesn’t mean holding out God’s love to only those who agree with us. That’s not the way God acts, and if we don’t even try to follow his greatest commandment, how then can we even call ourselves by the name of Christian? Only by offering that kind of charity and social justice to all can we begin to create a society where people can live with sympathy and empathy, and can we begin to solve the problems in our own lives and in our country. Will we get there? Yes, we will. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but I do know that doing those little things we’re called to do build a sense of hope which will help us all through uncertain times.

And that, you might say, is why I find myself writing about Star Wars and God, a crappy economy and another reason for hope, on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Rice Krispies Treats Cereal

In terms of attention given to cereals online, we’re living in something of a renaissance right now. Thanks to a host of nostalgic meets sugarholic bloggers like Leandra Palermo, a great exchange of ideas and under-the-radar cereal picks is just a click away. One of those picks, and one of the few cereals I had yet to try, was Rice Krispies Treats.

Make no mistake about it, this stuff had a cult following even before Leandra wrote her incredibly flattering review on the Seriouse Eats network. Essentially a deconstructed version of the iconic mass produced Rice Krispies Treats that my mother would include in my elementary school lunches, Rice Krispies Treats and my hungry stomach seemed like a match made in cereal nostalgia heaven. So, after a recent string of tips for a good day of frozen custard selling, I hastily made my way to the nearest Walmart* to pick up the cereal Leandra loves so much, she orders it from Amazon.

Despite loving Rice Krispies Treats (especially the ‘Rainbow’ ones and the Chocolate Chunk flavor) I disdain plain old Rice Krispies, and find Cocoa Krispies no match for Cocoa Pebbles. All things considered, I must just dislike rice-based cereals, and don’t get the appeal of something that’s suppose to “snap, crackle, and pop” in your milk. If I wanted popping in my mouth, I’d just as soon buy Pop Rocks.

True to the slogan, Rice Krispies Treats does snap, crackle, and pops if poured into milk. The pieces consist of clumped together portions of rice krispies, which, while sweetened, don’t exactly give up a sticky marshmallow and margarine sheen. They look like asteroids but they dissolve like particles of moon dust, while the mouthfeel, whether eaten dry or in milk, is nothing similar to an actual Rice Krispie Treat. It lacks the marshmallow goo and fails to deliver the savory taste of butter or margarine, and, what’s more, is one-note in its sweetness. There’s no bulk to the cereal, and snackability is extremely limited because of the light density. It is, I should think, a lot like eating air with sugar in it, and not very flavorful sugar at that.

I can’t overstate how disappointed I am with this cereal. About the only saving grace was the box maze, which I’m sure will make a fine addition to my cereal box collection. Nevertheless, I threw the rest of the box out, and  disliked it so much that I was more inclined to reach for the Special K Red Berries my mom likes than to eat this. Is it just me and my rice-based cereal aversion talking here, or have others found Rice Krispies Treats to be anything but a treat? And if not, what are your biggest cereal disappointments? I know I can’t be alone in my wallowing!

*As a complete aside, has anyone ever noticed how everything at Walmart ends in an eight? Like cereal or bars constantly priced at $2.68 or $2.98?

Rice Krispies Treats Cereal

• Price: 2.68 (Walmart)
• Ranking: 3/10
• Chances I’d Buy Again: 0%

Mini Cinnamon Churros from Post

Oddly enough, when I trace my personal history with Latino food as far back as my brain cells will take me, the first thing that comes to mind is the elementary school cafeteria. A freighting place where an early and earth-shattering experience with shake-and-bake-style chicken nuggets would convince me to never buy lunch from a public school cafeteria  as in, yes, ever), the lunchroom did provide me with a least a few new experiences. One of those was Churros.

We had this thing called a “snack” line in both my elementary and middle schools. Not serving up the “wholesome” options like canned peas and greasy Sloppy Joes normally found in the regular lunch-line, the snack-line of the 1990s instead provided buckets of ocean style fries, candy bars, and yes, Churros. Light, oily and sweet like a donut, these cinnamon coated drenched treats were made all the better by being both fried and in tubular form. And while mom didn’t send me to school with money for snacks, recollections clearly indicate that I somehow found a way to, shall we say, procure the funds needed for a Churro every-so-often.

I forgot about Churros for the better part of a decade before an experience last fall at Walmart reconciled by longstanding guilty pleasure for sweet fried stuff with my unabashed enthusiasm for breakfast cereal. Stopping in one of those nice Super Walmarts, I ran across Mini Cinnamon Churros and purchased them without hesitation. It wouldn’t be a purchase to regret, and following an initial foray into the box on a boring work shift, I quickly emptied my stash even before being able to thoroughly document my love for the cereal. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to locate Cinnamon Churros since that time, but thanks to a recent trip to Biloxi, Mississippi and its plethora of Super Walmarts, I was able to get my hands on a box. The only bad part was that I had to share it.

In all my days of cereal snacking, I can’t remember enjoying snacking on a cinnamon cereal more than Cinnamon Churros. A recent north-of-the-border excursion to the land of Cinnamon Corn Pops comes close, but on a gram-by-gram basis, this is the king of dry-snacking cinnamon cereals. And yes, that includes the venerable Cinnamon Toast Crunch (sorry Roddy, and yes, I’m being Cerealsly serious). The pieces are airy and large, like Honeycomb except with a more pronounced crunch and finger-licking cinnamon-sugar quality. It’s that cinnamon sugar quality which is highlighted by the toasted cereal pieces, which maximize the coverage of the coating while allowing milk to filter in gradually. By George, there is even a faux fried exterior mouthfeel! In milk they’re good, leaving behind the cinnamon sugar for an above average end-milk, but lose their crunch and thus lose a strong textural component of what makes them unique.

If you’re a by-the-book milk and cereal eater I can see you preferring Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which has an added element of richness that deploys once in milk. I concede CTC has a more “fried” taste and exterior texture, but the thin profile  has always bothered me. Likewise, their coating doesn’t cling as well as the coating on the Churros, which bests CTC out in terms of sweetness, crunch, and snackability.

If you put a gun to my head and made me choose between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Churros I’d be hard-pressed to make a decision over which I like better. Actually, I’d likely attempt to disarm you before getting my brains blown out, but if you’re willing to kill over cereal, well, I guess you’re the one with the real issues. This extremely unlikely hypothetical situation notwithstanding, my preference for dry snacking leads me to Churros, which I grade as slightly above its wildly popular American counterpart. If only they’d sell them outside those damn Super Walmarts though…

Other Mini Cereal Churros Reviews

• Cereal Eats (Seriouse Eats.com)
• Rodzilla Reviews

• Price: $2.98 (Walmart)
• Ranking: 9/10
• Chances I’d Buy Again: 100%

Lucky Charms Cereal Bars

The 100 calorie bar is a miracle of modern food science. Oftentimes packing nearly its namesake number in ingredients, it walks a line somewhere between candy and snack, nutrition and novelty. The varieties read like the demonic catalogue of Milton’s Paradise Lost, with familiar faces of Chocolate Peanut Butter Pretzel, S’mores, and Cookies and Cream promising no less in temptations. Tempting is not how I’d describe many of these, however. From the 90-calorie Special K bars my mother included in my lunch during Middle School, to the ubiquitous and puny Quaker Chewy bars which come in dozens of varieties, the 100 calorie barrier of on-the-go snacking affords us little more than a few bites of relatively ordinary sweetness and texture.

It’s physics, really, and asking something more of something which promises to provide the equivalent of roughly 1/25th my daily energy expenditure is asking a lot. But still, one can hope, can’t he?

Such was the case when I ran across a shopping cart full of clearance markdown Lucky Charms Cereal Bars before work the other day. Having decided to save the $1.15 I could have spent for a bagel at Einstein Brothers, I felt more than justified in an impulsive purchase of several of the bars – priced at 15 cents each – and decided to munch away. Small they may be, but my love of cereal likes portion control. Besides, I tend to tread carefully when purchasing childhood favorites labeled with the Big G Whole Grain promise. All due respect to the childhood obesity epidemic, but it’s my recent experience that cereals designed to counter this crisis – with their reformatted whole grain texture and lower-sugar ratios – pale in comparison to the titans of complete breakfast they once were. Lucky Charms seems particularly more sucky as of late, comprised of fewer marshmallows and less flavorful oat pieces. I blame Michelle Obama.

The bars overcome this defect with remarkable precision. They have just the right amount of sticky give that makes them the Lucky Charms equivalent to a Rice Krispie treat, and even more dexterity than their more compact elf-themed bar. Neither marshmallows nor oat pieces dominate, and, perhaps surprisingly, the dehydrated marshmallows in the bar hold a completely separate and fruit(well, not really) taste and texture profile than the marshmallow binder. What comes together is a sweet and crunchy (while still chewy) version of the classic cereal, which gets all the taste of milk and none of the hassle of actually pouring it with the yogurt coating on the bottom. ‘Yogurt’ of course, is a pretty liberal definition. But palm oil and nonfat milk notwithstanding, the marshmallows – still exhibiting a sticky glue and holding their original shapes – poke through the coating, gaining sticky and lickable crunch when kept in a lunchbox after a hard day of working the soft serve machine.

I can’t say I’d spring the 2.50 for a box of these, but I will go on record of saying that this was the best 15 cent purchase I’ve ever made at a grocery store. It’s also the most fun I’ve had with a Micro Machine Tiger Tank in a while, although I doubt the original panzers could have traversed such a treacherous environment. Clearly, had then United States deployed gigantic Lucky Charms cereal bars in Operation Overload, the war would have been over by the 4th of July.

Lucky Charms Cereal Bars

• Price: .15 cents each (clearence)
• Ranking: 8/10
• Chances I’d Buy Again: 50%

The Faith that Sustains

“Hopeless,” is the word I let blurt out to the old woman in church on Friday morning. “Hopeless,” and “angry.”

I didn’t know her name, and I sure didn’t plan on telling her about all the things which have been bothering me, but somehow, someway, I found myself letting it all out to someone I didn’t even know.

And then, when I was on the verge of walking away. She hugged me, and told me things are going to get better.

This kind of empathy. This kind of love. This reason to give hope to the hopeless to someone you don’t even know…this is the faith that sustains, and the faith and perspective which keeps me writing on this blog — to complete strangers, nonetheless — even though life continues to throw me pitches I’m finding myself incapable of knocking out of the park.

It’s no secret that I’ve been struggling with the same up and downs (but mostly downs) that many recent college graduates have struggled with in today’s economy. I’ve also made no effort to hide the cynical view I’ve slowly developed of this country and the state of the world, and how I too often let events and headlines ruin my day. Both these issues are challenges confront daily, and this past week, they seemed to be compounded by family health struggles which I’ve thankfully never had to experience in my life before now.

We all have our sob stories, and my family’s, I suppose, is relatively minor considering some of the hardships that many family’s deal with. But after spinal surgery last Tuesday my father developed some complications, and his road back to “regular life” will be trying a difficult for not only him, but my mother and I. Trying to come to terms with what may be significant lifestyle changes we all need to adopt in our work and social lives, we also found out my grandfather has prostate cancer. And while there remains hope for treatment, we are all realistic enough to know that at his age, there really is no rosy prognosis.

Having learned of all of this, the wave of emotion I was riding on Friday morning was just too much for me to handle. Caught up in another job application turned down and some newspaper headlines that made me want to break down and cry (or punch something hard and not very sturdy, like an empty cereal box) I drove off to my church following the morning mass. I don’t know why I did, really. Part of me just wanted to say, for lack of a better description, an angry prayer in front of the altar. Something impulsive and worthy of a sonnet, I guess. Another part of me just wanted to tell my priest about it all. I’ve been carrying all this around and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like nobody cares, and while I know there is always someone who does, I just needed an actual, physical person to dump it on.

But mostly, I just needed hope. Hope to sustain me for the next 24 hours of my life, and to keep me putting one foot in front of the next and step back from the temporary panic of losing perspective.

I thought that hope wasn’t going to come when I got to the church and found out Father Matt was out-of-town. Ready to turn my back and walk out, I instead heard someone say, “Adam,” in a soft, mothery like voice, as an older woman walked into view. I didn’t know her name, but she knew who I was (I guess she knew my mom) and it didn’t take her more than a few seconds to see something that betrayed the purpose of my visit.

We talked for a good half hour, and in that time I spoke to her about everything on my mind. About the struggle to find work. About my disillusionment with my country. About the constant bombardment of messages of anger and hate we so often seem saturated in, and, finally, the sense of hopelessness I was feeling when trying to help my family.

Her message was simple. One of perspective, experience, but also love, it was realistic and didn’t discount the struggles in my own life and in our country and world. But it was one which also recognizes that there is a lot to be thankful full, and that just as we seem to have cycles of downs in life (sometimes lasting years) we will also always have cycles of blessings and good fortune. The key, she hinted, is not getting too caught up in living in a world in which we’re always plugged into the latest and greatest crisis in our own lives or in the world. Stepping back, unplugging, and just focusing on doing something loving or something giving to someone else is how we develop hope in our world and our own lives, and how we see God at work in a world which often seems hopeless.

That love, like the hug of a stranger and the smile of someone with more years than me, is the Christian faith that sustains, and the timely and unexpected answer I received to my questions of “where are you now, God?”. I left church that Friday morning with a kind of serenity. Intent on passing on a smile or a hug that day, and stepping into the challenges of a world we can choose to embrace.

Lay’s BLT Chips

Sometimes, I see something in stores which awakens a sleeping food craving for me. Like Lay’s new Classic BLT Chips. I mean really, is there anything better than a meaty, crisp, sweet and smokey BLT sandwich on a warm summer day?

Nope. But good luck getting that iconic image from these chips. Read my review over at The Impulsive Buy, and have a great weekend!