A few weeks ago some one left a disparaging comment on the blog, albeit it in a backhanded compliment way that kind of made me go, “uh, what?”
It’s not the first time someone has mocked me online or taken issue with my thoughts, words, or beliefs. And it won’t be the last time. While the internet has given me more than a few buddies with which to discuss cereal, football, Star Wars, and any number of my interests, it’s also left me with quite a few less-than-friendly encounters.
It’s kind of pathetic when I think that I allow some of these exchanges to effect me and my real life mood, but I’d be lying if I said I just shrug it all off. And as much as random commenters who spend every waking minute of their lives thinking about what goes on online may say, “don’t be so sensitive,” I’m willing to bet they, too, are bothered by fly-by insults. It’s like some one once said, “misery loves company,” and in my experience, the motivation behind such comments is often proportional to how comfortable (or should I say) uncomfortable some one is in their own position or beliefs. That, or how bored they are online at work.
Take those quick thoughts or leave them, because I’m not dwelling on them today. I use them to preface an exchange I had with my father a few weeks ago. Unsurprisingly, it comes just as Father’s Day approaches. And they say God has a horrible sense of timing…
Anyways, I’ve written about my father’s health quite a bit over the past few months. I’m happy to say it has improved, in no small part to the tremendous outpouring of support my he and my family have received. From commenters here on the blog to friends he hadn’t heard from in years, prayers and words of encouragement have been coming in like letters to Santa, and the show of good will was something I don’t think he even expected. Watching him during these past few months has sometimes been a struggle, but it’s also been a privilege. I’ve seen him embrace a new lease on life, and I’ve seen that good exists in every corner of our lives when we just allow ourselves to be open to it.
That hasn’t been all I’ve seen though.
I have to be honest. I don’t know if, before this entire experience of my dad’s spinal surgery and current rehabilitation, I ever truly admired him. I suppose I always respected the life he created our family and of course I loved him unconditionally, but I never really “looked up” to him. Just as I tend to see my own faults, I played the cynic and would see his faults and shortcomings, and magnified them to an unreasonable extent. The past few months haven’t been like that. In that time, I’ve seen him go from immobile and docile to always up and about and determined. I’ve seen him exercise – each and every day — in a way I never saw before. I’ve seen him laugh at dumb sitcoms. I’ve seen him smile at a Baltimore Orioles win. I’ve even seen him — felt him — hug me in pride. Through it all, he just refuses to accept the setbacks he has and continues to suffer, and knowing how hard he has worked to this point, I can’t imagine anything derailing him from his goal.
That goal is to be is the happiest and healthiest person he can possibly be.
It’s amazing, because he’s already a pretty happy guy. A damn happy guy, compared to me anyways. Nothing fazes my dad, and it has taken this entire experience to show me that. I’ve always wondered how he can stay so even keel while watching the news, or how he has been able to weather the financial crisis in the “don’t worry, it will be all right” mood he adopts. Heck, I’ve always wondered how the man has been able to keep his sanity as a lifelong Buffalo Bills and Sabres fan. Watching his beloved NFL team lose four Super Bowls could not have been easy. Watching them lose four straight? Well, good thing I was only a munchkin, because I would have thrown myself off a bridge if I knew how crappy that was.
In all seriousness, my dad has an iron will to be happy, and to let nothing stand in his way. When I get malicious comments on this blog and get down on myself in life, he’ll be the first to notice and ask me what’s wrong. I used to just ignore him, but as I started opening up more to him, I tried explaining. His answer was usually not what I wanted. “Stop blogging then,” he’d tell me.
Psh, like that was an option! Inevitably, we’ll argue, and inevitably, he’ll come back to the same advice. It may sound trite, but each and everyday, as I watch my dad, my hero, strive for happiness, I’m finding it more applicable.
“Do what makes you happy.”
I believe God gives us everything we need to achieve this and to put the puzzle of our happiness together. For too long I’ve been shoving pieces into the wrong slots, ignoring the advice of some one who has put this puzzle together before, only to see it taken a part. Yet as that man, my hero, puts it back together, he inspires me by showing that if I just slow down, and put the pieces of happiness together one at a time, I can complete the puzzle too.
I know what those pieces are. God. Family. Sports. Good food, a productive and challenging job, and some time spent jogging around the Naval Academy on a warm summer afternoon (followed, of course, by a bowl of Cocoa Puffs). Somewhere in there is blogging. Maybe. But I’ll never know if I don’t stop shoving it in somewhere it does not belong.
I don’t know what the future holds for this blog. But if there are stretches where I don’t post, or weeks where I give it up, know that there’s a reason. I’m doing what makes me happy, and finally following the advice of the man I’m proud to call my hero.
Happy Father’s Day Everyone.
To be fair, “people of faith” also sometimes say things that are close-minded and derogatory. Jesus himself had to deal with such comments and mockeries. You’re vocal about your beliefs, so inevitably there’s gonna be comments that are vocal about their own beliefs, too. That’s a good thing. Invite conversations, even if they don’t agree with you. I don’t think you even need to respond to them. At least they’re reading for whatever reason, and that’s a great thing opportunity to welcome communication on both parts.
No doubt Sophia, which makes it all the more important for people like you and I to speak up against those things, and to clarify the positions and teachings that are so often misinterpreted. Nothing bothers me more to have so many people online just bash Christians up to wazoo because they think all Christians “hate” homosexuals. Nothing could be further from the truth, especially for a religion which is founded on the precept of ‘love your enemies.’ But I’m not here to talk about the theology and misunderstanding. I want to clarify what this post is about. It’s about my dad and great advice for life. Not just advice for dealing with people online.
We’ve talked before about being at different stages of our lives. The blogger I was a year ago and the one I am now are different, and dare I say, I have been a much happier person by abandoning the servile obedience to the internet that I once had. What this post is about is what my father has always told me, “do what makes you happy.” I’m finding that my rearranging my puzzle pieces I am finding that’s phrase to have more and more validity. That’s a testament to the faith my dad has, and the trust he puts in God to show him the way through his own reason and intuition.
I don’t know what I’ll be doing with this blog. I may post more. I may post less. It may be less about food and more about faith, and, heck, it could turn into a commentary on the Star Wars novels I read or the football games I watch. But if I do continue this blog on a regular basis, or even if I don’t, it will be because my dad has given me some amazing advice that I’ve found to work, and not because some random commenter left a fly-by, angst driven comment.
Also, way to hit me up while you were in town
Why is it okay for religious people to constantly talk about god and their faith, but it’s not okay for non religious people to talk about how they don’t believe in god. Isn’t it being a hypocrite? You are pretty much saying “I’m aloud to preach what I want, but you must be quiet and not disagree with me.”. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but MOST (not all) religious force their views on others and get offended when people disagree with it. I mean no disrespect with this comment, so don’t take it that way.
Hi Joe,
I see your point, and it has given me some pause. I’m not sure what exactly it’s getting at in the context of my blog or this post. I don’t think I’m being a hypocrite. I may have the “right” to go on other peoples’ blogs and leave what might be considered malicious comments attacking their personal life, but that doesn’t mean I choose to or would even want to? And even if I have that right, doesn’t that individual have a right to use their discretion in saying, “I don’t think this is the necessary place…” That’s all I’m trying to get at. Nobody is forcing anyone to read this blog. I think the point I would like to make is that if you don’t like elements of the content, don’t take it as such a personal offense that you have to respond. I use this blog to share my experiences of faith to any one who wants to read it. I highly doubt that’s “forcing” anything on any one. Try not to take some one else’s difference with you so personally, especially when it is not addressed to you, Joe, is particular.
For what it’s worth, I hope you don’t feel any hatred for people of faith, just as I don’t hold any hatred for people without. We can still be friends and share other interests.
That being said, I don’t arguing to take over comments in my blog, especially with how politicized our country is right now. I use my discretion to usually cut things off after a single response, as I will here.