How does a cereal aficionado celebrate the greatest day in the cold breakfast calendar year? It’s a question I’ve been mulling over for several days. From debating eating nothing but cereal all day to creating a combination of all my favorite cereals, I’ve brainstormed more ways to mark this day of days than cereals in a Super Walmart. In the end though, it seems I’ve run out of time, and now that National Cereal Day 2012 is upon us, I remain blocked in my efforts to celebrate in a truly slam-bang way.
But isn’t that the point. Because, when you love something and its a part of your life everyday, isn’t every day in and of itself a National Cereal Day?
I argue it is, and as I sat googeling ”cereal day” late last night, I ran across a former column of mine I wrote while an editor for my old college paper, the Utah Statesman. In 2010 I ranked my “Top 10 Cereals of all Time,” and looking back on it now, I can see some changes are in order. So, in honor of the always evolving Cereal Master List, I present to you my current Top 10 Cereals for National Cereal Day.
1) Waffle Crisp: Hard to believe, but I discovered this bedrock of artificial flavor and addicting crunch soon after writing my Top 10 List back in 2010. While Waffle Crisp is tough to find, it’s amazing maple sweetness is unmatched, while it’s thick, crunchy pieces provide both the glazed mouthfeel of syrup, and the lickable quality of a sugar coating. A toasted nature forged from partially hydrogenated oil gives it no redeemable nutrition, but makes it oh so yummy. Just in case the cerealpocolypse is to happen with its discontinuation, I have a special “reserve box” I intend never to open.
2) Frosted Mini Wheats Little Bites Chocolate: An amazing specimen of nutrition and taste, the crunchy cocoa wheat bites hit you with a vanilla glaze over crunchy chocolate mini chips, proving excellent with both milk and plain. A respectable amount of giver and protein and clean ingredient list make them totally respectable for even party-pooping naturalists.
3) Froot Loops: I don’t know what it is about Froot Loops, but I can’t get enough. I’ve always just been drawn to sucking the very artificially laced berry flavors of each loop until they dissolve in my mouth, but there’s just something about a Talking Bird which makes me go loopy for Red #40 in all it’s processed glory.
4) French Toast Crunch: Need I say more after the week that was? I think not.
5) Honey Nut Cheerios: Classic. Iconic. The taste of honey, oats, and almonds is something that appeals to both the four-year old squirming around at church and the 44-year old who’s skipping the comfort of a morning donut so he can lower his cholesterol. Even in a cereal world of nw products that hit shelves by the week, this remains one of my favorites.
6) Cinnamon Toast Crunch: It’s not French Toast Crunch, but the American standby’s taste of butter and brown sugar are a fine substitute. Per piece, I don’t know if there’s a more enjoyable cereal than French Toast Crunch, which I prefer to eat like candy. Of course, if you want to just stuff a bunch in your face, that’s perfectly acceptable too.
7) Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries: Cap’n Crunch is fine if you ask me, but it’s absolutely magnificent when given the benefit of the cloying sweet taste of puffed berries (with ketchip, eh, not so much). I’ve always felt that coconut oil adds a certain exotic nature to Cap’n Crunch, and will always come back to the enduring Crunch Berry variety even though I might find other, newer attempts (ahem, chocolate) to absolutely suck.
8) Kashi GoLean Crisp Toasted Berry Crumble: Like granola, only better. The biggest downside in the fiber content. You know that whole bit about adding fiber slowly to your diet? Yea, good luck if you put a box of this in front of me!
9) Golden Grahams: The intensity of the honey graham flavor far surpasses any other cereal, while the highly underrated ability to the pieces to take on milk makes this one of the few cereals I will pour the dairy for. I wonder though, why no cartoon spokesman?
10) Cocoa Puffs: I went back and forth with Fruity Pebbles on this last spot for quite some time. And Lucky Charms. And Cookie Crisp. Oh hell, the tenth spot is like a revolving door of whatever cereal I’ve eaten recently and reminds me of what I’ve been missing. Right now, that cereal is Cocoa Puffs. No, it might not be real chocolate, but in terms of cocoa flavor, you can’t beat it. Clearly, this is what inspired me to buy that “I’m Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!” t-shirt I saw at Walmart a while back.
Alright. Let the good spirited debate begin. Your Top 10?