Top 10 Cereals

This is an ever evolving list of my favorite cereals that can currently be purchased and eaten. Sorry, Oreo O’s lovers.

Last Update: March 6 2012.

1) Waffle Crisp: Hard to believe, but I discovered this bedrock of artificial flavor and addicting crunch soon after writing my Top 10 List back in 2010. While Waffle Crisp is tough to find, it’s amazing maple sweetness is unmatched, while it’s thick, crunchy pieces provide both the glazed mouthfeel of syrup, and the lickable quality of a sugar coating. A toasted nature forged from partially hydrogenated oil gives it no redeemable nutrition, but makes it oh so yummy. Just in case the cerealpocolypse is to happen with its discontinuation, I have a special “reserve box” I intend never to open.

2) Frosted Mini Wheats Little Bites Chocolate: An amazing specimen of nutrition and taste, the crunchy cocoa wheat bites hit you with a vanilla glaze over crunchy chocolate mini chips, proving excellent with both milk and plain. A respectable amount of giver and protein and clean ingredient list make them totally respectable for even party-pooping naturalists.

3) Froot Loops: I don’t know what it is about Froot Loops, but I can’t get enough. I’ve always just been drawn to sucking the very artificially laced berry flavors of each loop until they dissolve in my mouth, but there’s just something about a Talking Bird which makes me go loopy for Red #40 in all it’s processed glory.

4) French Toast Crunch: Need I say more after the week that was? I think not.

5) Honey Nut Cheerios: Classic. Iconic. The taste of honey, oats, and almonds is something that appeals to both the four-year old squirming around at church and the 44-year old who’s skipping the comfort of a morning donut so he can lower his cholesterol. Even in a cereal world of nw products that hit shelves by the week, this remains one of my favorites.

6) Cinnamon Toast Crunch: It’s not French Toast Crunch, but the American standby’s taste of butter and brown sugar are a fine substitute. Per piece, I don’t know if there’s a more enjoyable cereal than French Toast Crunch, which I prefer to eat like candy. Of course, if you want to just stuff a bunch in your face, that’s perfectly acceptable too.

7) Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries: Cap’n Crunch is fine if you ask me, but it’s absolutely magnificent when given the benefit of the cloying sweet taste of puffed berries (with ketchip, eh, not so much). I’ve always felt that coconut oil adds a certain exotic nature to Cap’n Crunch, and will always come back to the enduring Crunch Berry variety even though I might find other, newer attempts (ahem, chocolate) to absolutely suck.

8) Kashi GoLean Crisp Toasted Berry Crumble: Like granola, only better. The biggest downside in the fiber content. You know that whole bit about adding fiber slowly to your diet? Yea, good luck if you put a box of this in front of me!

9) Golden Grahams: The intensity of the honey graham flavor far surpasses any other cereal, while the highly underrated ability to the pieces to take on milk makes this one of the few cereals I will pour the dairy for. I wonder though, why no cartoon spokesman?

10) Cocoa Puffs: I went back and forth with Fruity Pebbles on this last spot for quite some time. And Lucky Charms. And Cookie Crisp. Oh hell, the tenth spot is like a revolving door of whatever cereal I’ve eaten recently and reminds me of what I’ve been missing. Right now, that cereal is Cocoa Puffs. No, it might not be real chocolate, but in terms of cocoa flavor, you can’t beat it. Clearly, this is what inspired me to buy that “I’m Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!” t-shirt I saw at Walmart a while back.